That one moment when I blocked everything out & started thinking of the people who apparently have a grudge on me because of something I didn’t do.
The problem with rumors is that they usually reach their victims when the lies have been altered several times, almost to the point of it being so incomprehensible, so far out from the issue at hand. The problem with the rumor about me is that it reached me only when it has developed into a fully grown bastard, the kind that people have already accepted as the truth. The problem with me is that I refused to stand up and
slit everyone’s throats clear my name.
Yes, I am a victim. I may not be so in certain people’s eyes, but I am. And so are the people who believed and continue to believe the issue that I, allegedly, ruined something beyond repair. I chose to keep quiet despite everything. I thought then that my battle was nothing compared to that of someone else. I know that that was the right thing to do. I chose to keep quiet and allowed the rumor to die out. The rumor died. But so did my only chance of having everything straightened out, of letting people know that I’m innocent.
There’s no point standing up against anyone now. The wounds have healed.
That one moment when I realized that other people’s thoughts, evil or otherwise, could never harm me in any way unless I allow them to do so.
Most people describe me as someone who is casually unconcerned with others’ nasty opinions. They’re quite right. On most days, I’m pretty much like that, but not bordering on indifference. I listen, I take mental notes on who I shouldn’t trust, but I don’t let them affect me. At least, not anymore.
I’m dropping my crappy plans of letting people know that on a certain issue, on that one Jurassic issue, I’m clean. It doesn’t matter now. For as long as the people involved know the truth, for as long as the people closest to me know the truth, all’s well.